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六年前,我在某火锅店和妻偶遇,当时,我是食客,妻是火锅店服务员。贪婪妻的美色,之后,我经常光顾那家火锅店,只为能多和爱说几句话。...

  木子李:

  六年前,我在某火锅店和妻偶遇,当时,我是食客,妻是火锅店服务员。贪婪妻的美色,之后,我经常光顾那家火锅店,只为能多和爱说几句话。

  坚持了大概半年,终于和妻发展成男女朋友。

  新的问题又出现了:我父母不同意我们在一起。原因很简单:我城市男,妻农村女;我重点大学毕业,妻初中都没读完;我有体面的工作,妻则是服务员。

  面对父母棒打鸳鸯,我和妻曾分开一段时间,那段时间,因为相思,我饮食、睡眠都非常糟糕,导致卧床不起。父母实在没辙,亲自去求妻来探望我。

  最终,我们和好并结婚。

  婚姻生活并没有我想象的美好,或受教育程度的差异,或成长环境的差异,导致,我和妻都非常压抑。

  能感觉到,我们都在憋屈、谨慎的维护着这段婚姻。

  直到一年前,妻认识了一个农民工,他们相爱了。至此,妻宁愿住在又脏又乱的工棚内,也不愿再回我们家。套用妻的话说:她天生贱命,工棚才是她最好的归宿,在那里,她舒心,不憋屈。

  如今,妻已经正式向我提出离婚

  其实,我也认为离婚是这段婚姻最好的归宿,但是,我多少有点不甘心。

  1)或因为,不应该是妻主动提出离婚;

  2)或因为,我父母开始说风凉话:当初就说你们不合适,你偏不听。

  我该如何处理妻提出的‘离婚请求’?

  木子李答读者问:

  在很久很久以前,媒人在婚姻中起着非常关键的作用,那时,家境是彼此最看重的结婚要素,于是,那时的婚姻经常听到这样的词汇:门当户对。

  当婚姻进入自由恋爱时代,虽然‘门当户对’被提及的次数不再那么频繁,但是,门当户对其实在某种程度上依然在延续,也许现在人都比较含蓄和矜持,尽量不把‘门当户对’挂在嘴边,仅此而已。

  一段失败的婚姻或不是因为夫妻中某一方不好,或就因为彼此在一起真的不合适。

  很显然,你和你妻这些年都在很小心的去维护婚姻的稳定,但是,无论你们怎么努力,都无法真正融入到对方的生活中去。

  于是,你累,你妻也累。

  直到她遇到一个和她‘门当户对’的男子时,她有点‘天被解放’,因为那种状态下的她才足够舒心。

  事实上,在婚姻的行进过程中,你也感受到了你们在一起的诸多不适,或因为不想被父母说风凉话,或依然贪婪你妻的美貌,所以,你从来没有想过离婚,当然,你也从没想过你妻会主动提离婚。

  但是,现在你妻将‘提离婚’坐实,你确实应该面对现实:你们在一起不合适的现实。

  ‘面子’有时是自己给自己设定的枷锁,其实在实际生活中没什么卵用。

  有时候,放手、成全也是一种爱。

  给出的建议:

  让你妻毫无牵绊的抽离。算是你对这段婚姻最后的仁慈。


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